His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
