I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
there is glitter all over my balls
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
