Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You ate ashes out of my bong
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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