He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
