How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it hurts more in the daytime
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
