Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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