he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this will be a night to untag.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
