new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
