I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
