The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
