well I can't set my house on fire every night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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