So drunk its hurt
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
