Jerry, you need to find god
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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