But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
