Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
