I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
