Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
