Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
