I think my vagina is haunted
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
