# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
