is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
