What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
