i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
