it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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