i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
