Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
