A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Terrible idea I love it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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