I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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