How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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