I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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