You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this just has baby written all over it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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