My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
