Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
