This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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