if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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