How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Acid is not a monday night drug
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
