While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
