I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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