god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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