did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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