Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
