I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
