She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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