a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
another moral hangover. fuck.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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