you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
