Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
