why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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