I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
