Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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