He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
two words...techno handjob
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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