that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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