Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize