dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize