Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
