I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
