Whod you bang
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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