Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
