this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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