sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
