Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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