Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
