jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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