i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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