so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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