dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
