Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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