shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
