he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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