Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
