But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
