I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
