as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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