im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
