I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
