oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
