This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
