you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
